Lonely SuMMMer

With ‘Lonely September’ by Plain White T’s playing in the background and I so loving it, it would be a shame if I fail to honor it by naming the post likewise.

But, the heck, neither this is September nor it’s lonely by any chance (though the desire of falling in love subsists: P). So, I would keep the lonely and tweak the latter to su-MMM-er.

So the title goes, “Lonely SuMMMer”. (As if you are too idiot to be told again: P)

But even the former (i.e. lonely) is a misfit after I bought my first android. Now it’s just tad loneliness and too much ‘social’. Though it has gouged a big hole in my pocket (not so big: P), but it’s totally worth it \m/.

(sorry ‘symbian’…I expressed my deep for you in my last post and it was just a couple of weeks later that I ditched you…but I love you…just as I love my granny: P)

Anyways, let’s cut the drivel.

So, back on topic…

Yesterday as I sped back to my refugee from work yesterday, I so craved for mangoes (the AAMSUTRA add made me lust more: P) and all-of-a-sudden, I was catapulted to the times when I was a kid.

The long summer break when we used to pilgrimage to dadi’s and nanni’s (especially dadi’s)…

We used to live in a suburb and that summertime visit to the city of lakes, Bhopal, was awaited year long.

Waking up to the best parathas and a glass of bournvita wala milk and then rushing out to play cricket under the scorching sun with my cousins and a bunch of idiots from the colony, of whom I hardly remember anything, made up the pre-noon session.

And then followed the lusty treat of mangoes…the ‘meant-to-be’ supplement were consumed like lunch with greed and passion.

And winning the pulpy stone that my mother used to core out of mango (I would rather call it AAM KI GUTHLI) at the end was such a delight.

I so miss the times we used to play cricket in the scorching heat under the shade of the GIGANTI C mango tree that lay in the periphery of 119/15, Shivaji Nagar,… and when we used to occasionally slip into the kitchen to have that mouthwatering mix of bournvita and shakkar.

I miss when my Baba used to take us to Gautam Nagar in the evening and we used to have lots of Golgappe and ice-cream. K

(Miss you Baba)

And yeah, I am totally wrong in saying that it’s no way lonely.

Nothing, be it your new phone, your laptop, facebook, twitter, blog or whatever…nothing can make life as good as it is with the dear ones.

Now it’s bad…it has been. It’s dead lonely now.

P.S.- Tribute to all those who have been a part of this beautiful journey. 

         (varun malik, kumud sharma, tarun mallik, neema sharma, shuchita malik, atul malik, ashish malik)

P.S.- photo courtes: Kumud Sharma.

Adding life to days...

I am the happiest when I get to cook and today was one such fortunate day. While I marinated chicken and watched for the zillionth time, S01E14 of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., an unusual thought crossed my mind. I noticed that I am not growing up.

...I still love the age-old Symbian, I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S., I order the same cuisines wherever I go, I never even consider changing my laptop’s background, I never try to befriend new people, even the ringtone hasn’t changed since long.

But then, is it wrong to love what you love? I don’t think it is.
There have been changes…major changes. I have shifted to a new city; I have a changed life-style, and I have so well adapted to it.

Is it not enough of a change and a sign of growing up? It definitely is.

But then, why has the excitement died out?

After a daylong session of introspection and observation, I could only conclude that one stops growing up only when he already has grown up too much to have grown out of life. He holds so tightly those things of past that the passage for new things is no more open. And its then that the experiment part takes a back seat and he loses all those moments that he would have scored to laugh at and speak about had he kept the doors open.

One closes the door for new things and the list of special moments grows shorter relative to life and at some point, life starts to seem bland.

Life will always be a little shit, but with these little sparks that a little change/experimentation brings in, one can live on and on with glee.

And with this learning, I am going to hit the road right away and drive a good 30 kms for the station-wali-chai post mid night.

Who knows what’s waiting ;)

P.S. - the hiatus has been long…it’s not that I haven’t pondered writing or the desire to connect with this virtually real world has waned, it’s just the dearth of a subject/muse. But I plan to come here a little more regularly with better stuff.

P.S. - I did not intend to put this post up (so much to learn type) but then the desire to be here was incessant and this was what I was, all day, up to.

P.S. – I have just now dug out this ‘never heard’ song, 'home' by 'chris daughtry' and I am badly hooked to it.

P.S. – winters this time around are inclement here and it feels so bad to even peek out of the quilt. God! Please repeat Sunday in succession.

P.S. – and by-the-way, butter chicken was awesome :) …I would have shared a pic but alas! I was too engrossed in devouring it.

I have no muse…

But there is darkness…rains…almighty and tepid city of Bhopal.

I saunter out of this cubby tea stall and push start my bike…and the road ahead is evacuated.

The road glistens under the dismal sun that chaffs through the grey clouds. Its six now, but has been drizzling since noon and clouds evince a desire to pelt down heavy.

I ramble through the streets waiting for the clouds to drench me…enliven my dreary demeanor.

As I drive back, a gust gushes past my ears sating my olfactory desire…promising a
handsome shower. And then, it starts raining.

Rains…they are emotive…the phish out every secret of yours, every regret…just to make you feel how adorable you are.
The flora recuperates from the times it had simmered under the vindictive sun and the green gets perky…peaceful.
Slowly darkness falls and even more delectable gets the milieu. Little by little night grows out to full youth and the whole world is in the arms of dark.

…ecstatic.

I am conscious, but delirious.
A little lost…inebriated…and in LOVE with the mortal.

GANG-TALK

Remember Miley Cyrus’s ‘it’s a climb’ from the movie Hannah Montana? Don’t…I do (Ya I am still a kid).
Now if you got to realize it in real life, go to Gangtok…a city with an altitude variation of more than 1000 feet.
From every pathway to the other, it really is a climb…even the crossings are.
And how could it miss to make you realize ‘A walk in the clouds’…bliss it is when you wake up someday and right next outside the window pane is a cloud…cool…white as snow.

…on my last (and also the first one) trip of college life with my friends I expected to experience CHINA at Indian expenditure, but tantalized I was to discover that whom I anticipated to be ‘Chyng Mey’ or ‘Myang Pe’ was actually ‘Sumit’…a truly Indian whiff.
The servile people who would not fleece you (much) just because you happen to be an outsider tourist if found anywhere in India, it really is this place…Sikkim. (Rare occurrence ;))

FIRST HOOKUP:
After a cringing deliberation on where to go, we finally consented to revel in the north east. Our cohort was 11 which finally trimmed off to 4.
Dhanbad to Bardhman was holy shit in the dearest Black Diamond express. It was kamakhya express (I guess) from there on. The next morning in Siliguri seemed to be the high point as nothing such had been witnessed in 8-9 months…rains…greens…and all this in May.
Now Siliguri is typically Indian with populace being sleazy dacoit. (Exaggerated)
But really, their ways of making profit are unpalatable and untenable. From there, started the joy ride in a TATA Sumo with a packing fraction of more than one. (Sarcasm)
The excitement was building as every vista that unfurled was more ravishing than the previous. Finally we were in GANGTOK. Even the taxi driver there was smarter the all of us (at least by looks)…and even Imran Hashmi.
It was 7 when we finally stretched out on our beds to let lose the crams.
DAY-2:
Next day we scaled 14,200 feet…Nathula Pass.
Never in my life had I experienced snow and this was it. Limpid white saw the entire region with china border around the corner. An inch more and we would have been in china. Breathing was the rub and the battered (old) did really shatter. Café 14000 was the relief serving delicacies…though not scrumptious. I would here attach a pic of snow across the window-pane.

(Hail the brawn of our soldiers who survive in even harsher conditions.)
The day ended with the thoughts of leaving the trip right there considering the exertion of day 1. But then, crosin has always been there and will always be.
Day-2:
When most intelligent people would settle with a 1night 2day tour package to Yung-Thang valley and zero point, we chose the omnibus…2night 3days trip to yung thang valley, zero point and Guru Dongmara Lake.
With our dud bodies, the willy-nilly trip seemed to be a survival trip, but until we reached Lachen…the place we had our first night stay…a little upbeat town with serene views from everywhere.
The next day started at 4:30 AM…the time when a usual day ends.
With all of us air-jacketed, the journey started and after 7 pathetic hours (Someone tell them to construct roads), we finally were there….Guru Dongmara Lake…the most lovely sight I have ever witnessed with open eyes.
If it were a girl I would have described her as:
Her…the best epithet to femininism.
She was a compliment to the ‘salwaar-kameez’ she was clad in. Ingenuity dribbled round the periphery of her delectable face. Her gracious ways of carrying herself presaged the saga of her elegance. Her supple body and frugal ways hark back to saira bano of 70’s. Innocence seemed to be a mere replica of her.

Aah…awesome it was.

Our drive back to Lachen was again the rub. These road trips seemed to be god’s own punitive ways to resurrect our deeds.
Motion sickness had taken over bad. But dude, it wasn’t the end; post lunch started another lap…to Lachung this time.
By night we ascended by some 2000 feet to each Lachung.
I was aching, chocking, breaking and everything.
Day 3:
Day 3 was scheduled to start at 6:00 AM but didn’t till 7:00…curse us.
An hour drive and what segued was again the near most beautiful sight. Really, even the figment of my imagination doesn’t go that far. Valleys, I have rarely seen and this one really was a compliment to beauty.

Finally only two out of four survived to visit zero point…and proudly I was not one among them ;)
…sometimes it’s better to leave a few things for future.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
We were back to Gangtok.
About Gangtok I would only say that it is one of the most sophisticated cities in India I have ever visited. India is lucky to have north east as a part of it.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Our Spacio stretched out of Sikkim and a feeling started sinking in…a feeling of loss. Four years it had been with these lovely people who were then sitting beside me. And in a few hours I was to bid final adieu to them….to a few I had already bade.
Next morning I was in Dhanbad.
…my train was at 10 PM.
My dearest friend JIGYASA (Abhinav Sinha) served us so well on the last day that I could never forget. I still retain the taste of ‘ghar ki puri sabji’ that came as a bolt from the blue on my last day (thanks to him)…happy ending.
In the evening when I finally bade good bye to him, I had tears in my eyes after a long-long time (Miss u Buddy).
…it was 19th of July, 2007, coincidently my B’day, that my journey for ISM had started and it was 19th of May, 2011 that I bade final goodbye to the dearest phase of my life.

…
P.S.- thank you Abhinav Sinha, Supreet Srinivas, Divyanshu Srivastava, Shankar Agarwal, Faraz Khan, Rajendra Prasad, Mahesh Khicher, Abhishek Upadhyay, Puneet Saraswat for being the best part of this best phase of life…
P.S. - …i wrote this because the loveliest lill gal on earth asked me if i still blog and i said yes...its for u dear :)

Srijan’11

What did I miss this Srijan? (Being with ‘you’ :-()

…those three lost socks that rendered their better-halves useless thereby leaving my feet lacerated after the first day.

But, the gory feet didn’t prevent me from shaking a leg (or the whole body:-P) on the following days, so what if it would culminate in a flawed amble for the weeks to follow.

Be it sur-sangram or nukkad natika, I was everywhere (if not there, then in canteen ;-))…and many a times, the only final year (my group=unity).

But believe me, bird- watching was the secondary objective (‘you’ know the primary ;-))…

When most of us fell in love with the fresh face (or faces) of ISM, I successfully held my ground by falling only for a few sexy legs (pata nai kis-kiske)…

Jal Nayak and Path Gamini made me LOL (for obvious reasons)…

Rockers and Mother Jane gave me a day full of music and Hard Kaur gave me a day full of dancing.

Jawed Ali’s performance though was more like an orchestra performing at a ‘shaadi’, but he did set the vibes.

And Chetan Bhagat was icing on the cake… (Dear girls, I apologize for pissing you enough to leave your seats…but, it wasn’t me…)

For me it was a 9 (Perfect 10 if ‘you’ had been with me)…

End of Srijan’11 came with a realization…a realization that this broken heart will have another thing to miss…a thing that has been his life…a thing that ain’t just his college…a college that will, in a matter of just two months, be his alma mater…the ‘canteen or RD ki kachauri’, penman, library, department, CC, DMS (Matkiyan), everything will be just an archive.

I LOVE you ISM...till date, you have been the best thing in my life...

P.S – some relations (people) leave me wishing for teleporting to be discovered ASAP and some leave me hankering to go back in stone-age. (First part is for ‘you’ and second for ‘U’)

P.S. – this ain’t related to the post at all…but it’s on head for someone special (hope ‘U’ are not too dumb to get it)

Shit is shit, no matter what font you use...

P.S. - I read one of my previous posts and sooo fell in love with myself...how do ‘you’ manage not falling in love with me (I know ‘you’ don’t read it)...how can
‘you’ be sooo awesome? (I know awesome ain’t the right word...but, I love 'you')

P.S. – khule baal suit you nice…but bandhe baal suit you better…

P.S. – thank you pals for giving me 3*86400 beautiful ‘pals’ of my life

Random Ramblings

Bhaskar chaterjee's joining my followers list is a motivation enough for me to lend an expression to my slothful existence that has been impending for quite some time.

This one’s for you buddy…on the rocks!!

(Please don’t curse me if it does not get along like dedications usually do…but dude, you are the motivation behind)

With my roommate on a stint to rediscover ‘home’, the room seems to be a barren island with no signs of life even way beyond the horizon.

The WELL-draped windows…, door that is well shut…, and my laptop playing legends like “Gulabi aankhen jo teri dekhin” …TOUCHWOOD!

Love, booze or both would make any ones day in such setting…and I am no exception (though I am sans both-love and booze)…but believe me, it feels super-awesome.

Cutting the crap, this post was meant to be an insightful story of ISM2IIT Mumbai visit, but I am sure that such, AWESOME AS FUCK, experience would altogether spoil the mood…it’s imminent, but for now, let’s leave it for better.

I would rather love to publish a psycho-analysis of a mind cherishing FREEDOM of all forms.

The ‘sticky notes’ (that always does exist on my desktop) would sure supplement the analysis and so I would like to reproduce (no pun intended):

1-my unrivaled love of all times...neha sharma (bahut din hue...ab ek aur muvi b kar do na...pls)

2-some people should get a phd for finding exactly the right message for every situation..fuck them

3-i dont want to compromise again...at least 1nc my desire must nt b substituted..

4-if grls to fall in luv...thn y its generaly d boy who proposes...r v so desperate??

5-i seriously m planing a trip to nepal...at least i wud b cald foreign returnd thn...

6- People usually forget to care about those who are always around.

7- Sometimes I feel as if my daddy pays me for doing nothing all day, but just FBing and staying away from them…only to realize that it’s time to take a sabbatical form this jobless employment.

These seven samples have been recorded in one periodic cycle of a freaking, fickle, diminishing brain.

An elucidation may plot delight, exasperation, vulnerability (or nakedness), fascination, aspirations, sorrow and shame.

I would rather love to leave it right hear skipping my postulates and for you to decipher for yourself.

So, this is me signing off to founder into the bliss of being alone.

P.S. - Tanya is super cute (but just not as much as you are…)

P.S. - I would better let go the bracketed text (ANKAHEE) here…my DIBS at least here!

P.S. - gulabi aankhen jo teri dekhin...la la la la...laaaa..laa

P.S. - Hey, stalker...if u happen to set ur foot here, please dont sue me for copying the title from your blog...BDW u write awesome!

not a song of love…it’s a saga rather.

I gave up writing right here a months ago.

Don’t know what the heck brings me back. Please bear with me.

 

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow

It was when one of my scallywags intended to search his profile on my fb and though he typed his initial, fb offered to show you up first that he got to know I am not over you.

Did I retort?

No.

Why?

Because I fall in love with you every time I see you.  

I can give up cajoling you…following you…pissing you, if I put it blunt and I have done it already. But, I can’t retract the unfettered rush of adrenaline that creates ecstasy even in the bleakest tick of the day when I see you.

Love…they call it divine just because you don’t intend to love somebody. You just love.

It may be one sided but I don’t repent. I love loving you. Of course everybody has choices and I am okay with not being your choice. But this can only make my love dumb. To my glee you know about it.

There are pros as well…one being no restriction on ’bird watching’ (though I don’t enjoy it anymore) that is unpalatable on part of men in relationships (serious ones) ;-)  

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

But, some laws are better off when not breached and so the departure is close and it intimidates me often just like the big fat pumpkin did when I was young. I smile to myself when I think of that fateful day when I thought that that doomsday, back in 2007, was for something good. “Eternity of happiness” as I christened it. But I never knew that my “eternity of happiness” had come with an expiry date.

Hapless I am.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

P.S. – earlier it was “tera hone laga hun” and now it is “taakte rehte tujko” that plays as the background music.

P.S. – only studies make the world go round…make me proud.